I’m horrified to inform you all that apparently buying a cheap Trilby at Target and being a complete asshat on the internet about your lack of faith is the latest teenage craze.
As an atheist who has a rather vast collection of hats (some indeed Trilbys) I am beyond pissed that once again I find myself fighting to distance myself from a bunch of shit-stain, snot-nosed kids.
It makes me wonder…did my generation ever do anything this toolish when we were young? What trends, ideals, or fashions did we sully?
I want to say none…but I don’t know. We were the generation that begged for the STAR WARS prequels…
We are the worst generation.
Downloaded my first STEAM game and it immediately crashes…
Things are off to a good start.
Starting to wonder if my laptop isn’t conducive to gaming. Which would have been a good thing to figure out before I joined steam.
Now, I don’t claim to know the first thing about what you call them…women?
But, I do believe I have noticed a few of them flirting with me the last few days.
The girl Target…
The girl at the Tree farm…
Again, I’m none too sure…but I see the classic signs, the overly genuine smile, the occasional stumbling over simple words, laughing, and of course the classic “look away.”
I have yet to really take advantage of this latest development. I’m not skilled in the art of flirtation…or subtlety. But further studies must be conducted. If I am indeed keen with the ladies, then perhaps it is time I took out to strut my stuff out proper instead of sitting at home and hoping to stumble upon someone online.
Just joined STEAM…DubzortheAlmighty…add me bitches
Who says men can’t pamper themselves too? Only, we don’t call it “pampering,” let’s call it “indulging.”
Men can very easily indulge themselves and not end up breaking the bank. No, it’s true. Don’t believe me? Well fine, I’ll prove it to you…
1. Cologne- Wearing cologne everyday is a simple step, but an effective one. Nothing makes you feel more like a badass then walking out of the house smelling amazing, even if you don’t have a date. Just going to work, or the grocery store wearing cologne will make you feel like a god.
Just don’t be that guy…one small spritz on one wrist, rub against the other wrist, and then rub both wrists under either ear. NO MORE!
2. Premium Bath Products- Not that there’s anything wrong with Irish Spring…it’s just…you can do a lot better, and for only an extra $1.50 or so. The scents of premium products are quite lovely, and thankfully nowhere near as overpowering as others **cough cough** AXE.
Plus, there’s a reason they are premium, the often have oils and lotions that will help a man’s hair and skin feel amazing, and any woman will tell you, that’s important.
I use Aussie for Men Shampoo/conditioner, and Every Man Jack body wash…it adds an extra $3 to what I used to pay for inferior products. If $3 breaks you, you have bigger problems to worry about than what you smell like.
3. Marc Anthony Socks- I could fill this list with Marc Anthony products…but, seeing as they are all rather pricey, I’ll stick with the best.
These are the best damn socks I have ever owned. Even better than fancy dress socks that are supposed to go with formal wear. They are stylish but still allow themselves a little color, and yet still manage to not be too ostentatious, and by god are they comfortable.
The only thing is the price. $7 a pair…but, hey, it’s an indulgence, and you’re worth it.
4. Local Theater- A little culture never hurt anyone, and going to local theater helps achieve this without breaking the bank. Trust me when I tell you, Ballet and Opera sounds stuffy and boring at first…but give it a good solid chance. There’s nothing better then getting dressed up and going to see CARMEN.
5. Explore Fine Liquor- I’m not going to tell you to go out and buy a bottle of Remy Martain…but a glass every now and then at your local watering hole will do you just fine.
Fine liquor is like enjoying fine wine, there are complexities, subtle notes, and unique flavors.
Just don’t buy cheap. In this case, an indulgence is necessary. I like to say, “you get what you pay for.” Well, it’s true. Most of the time, when people say they don’t like rum, or tequila, or vodka, or bourbon is because they buy the bottom of the barrel…so to speak. Don’t buy Jose Quervo…buy 1800 or Patron. The more money you pay, the better it will be.
6. Dress Up Day- Pick a day…any day of the week, and dress to the 9’s for no reason whatsoever. Put on your best suit and strut your stuff.
New socks…instantly have become my favorites
On a related note I’m totally taking people’s key to the door because the primary ingredients are an entire bottle of wine and entire six pack of ale…
I normally don’t say anything like this, as I genuinely love cooking new things for my friends and family.
But holy god, people better drink my wassail. As I’m finding out far too late how expensive it is to make…