This morning I tried working on AVERY LIBRARY with Pandora on and Tweetie open…standard multitasking…and the damn thing slowed to half a crawl and didn’t like doing much of anything.
Combine this with the motherboard issues I’ve been having…it’s clear she doesn’t have long.
I figure a new setup will cost me around $1400…$2000 if I want to continue to draw pretty pictures cause…you know…I don’t figger CS2 running on a I5 Intel Processor with Snow Leapord.
It’s finally here, and by god do I feel like a kid again.
I love Halloween, I really do. I mean, what’s not to love? Jack-o-lanterns, candy, horror movies, costumes, fake blood…it’s the greatest day of the year in my opinion.
Now, for your enjoyment…
Oh, and by the way…it took me far too long to find the original version of this song on the internet. Kids these days only seem to care about the Marylin Manson cover…is there no respect for tradition? Shame on you all.
I guess, the first thing to say is that it if you’re hoping for a movie where Jason is roaming the streets of NYC killing people, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
The bulk of this movie takes place on a cruise ship out of Crystal Lake…yeah, it doesn’t make sense to me either. Since when did Crystal Lake lead to the ocean. Does that mean it’s a salt water lake?
I don’t know…and really I don’t care.
Also, it breaks continuity with A NEW BLOOD entirely. He’s at the bottom of the lake, sure, but his mask is back and he’s not nearly as rotted as he was in the previous movie. The mask is the most puzzling, not only was it broken in half at the end of the last film, but it was picked up by a fireman. So…where did he get this one?
It’s this, as well as the lack of rot that makes me think this is more of a sequel to JASON LIVES than A NEW BLOOD. Which is weird. Why would they do that? Did A NEW BLOOD do that poorly that they decided to ignore it? They didn’t do that with any other horror sequels…well, except HALLOWEEN H20.
The scenes in NYC are what you’d expect, portraying the city as a dirty, crime-infested, hole…which isn’t fair to New York really. Almost immediately the surviving characters get mugged by a pair of drugged up racial stereotypes that borderline on outright slurs who also drug and attempt to rape the main female lead.
The make-up effects are awful, just awful. Several times in the movie we get flashbacks to Jason as a child. Each one is completely different from each other…I’m not even kidding. Maybe it’s supposed to show a progression of Jason as he became more wild and unkempt…I dunno, the movie doesn’t even attempt to explain it. One thing that is consistent is the lack of quality. I could go down to a Halloween shop, buy some make-up and do better myself. Now that’s sad…especially when you compare it to the previous two movies.
This movie has one saving grace though…just one.
Kelly…effing…Hu.
That’s right. The blazing hot female lead of the SCORPIAN KING movie is in this movie, in the grand tradition of big name actors/actresses beginning in horror. She is just as gorgeous then as she is now.
Well, we’re reaching the end of the franchise. Just two more to go and then the reboot. I know I need to watch FREDDY VS JASON, but I really think of that more as a Freddy movie than anything else…
I promise you that it’s the first time Kane Hodder plays Jason has nothing to do with it…ok, so it helps, but it’s not the only reason.
The main reason…Jason looks fantastic in this one. They take the rotting corpse them to the extreme and it pays off big time. Hell, you can even see his spinal chord sticking out of his back when he turns around. Awesome…
The kills aren’t too shabby either, hell, it has the famous “sleeping bag kill.” Nuff said.
Other than that, I will admit, it’s pretty ridiculous. A psychic brings him to life with her powers and then has to battle him to the death in the end. Yeah…not exactly Shakespere.
The teens are fodder…not an interesting character in the lot of them. Although, there’s this one Sci-Fi nerd that’s pretty entertaining. Because they couldn’t get any rights to anything, he just spouts off what sounds like gibberish when he talks about his favorite Science Fiction films.
One thing that I find interesting is how Jason seems to go back and forth a lot as to who he kills in these movies. Most of the time it’s camp councellors, but every other movie or so it’s just some random group of people vacationing on the lake. They don’t even have to be near the old camp, just on the actual lake apparently like in this film.
I know the “legend” says he comes to punish anyone who trespasses on his lake…but really shouldn’t his jurisdiction be restricted to the Camp? I guess it’s like the NIGHTMARE series, where Freddy has already punished the parents who killed him and now he’s just killing random Teens…but here’s the thing. Freddy was a killer BEFORE he died…so it kind of makes sense that he keeps doing it as long as he can. I dunno…maybe I’m just nit-picking.
This movie is also a bit meloncholy for me…because I know that just on the horizon, is nothing but shit. Jason takes Manhattan, Jason Goes to Hell, Jason X…oi.
**EDIT** I can’t believe I forgot to mention this!! Susan Blu is in this movie…can you guess who that is? Arcee from Transformers!! HA!!
Instead of a deformed wild-man, he’s now a walking corpse with boundless strength and damn near impossible to kill…or even slow down for that matter.
Once again, Jason’s look has evolved and is closer to what we now recognize the character as. Mechanic suit, rotting flesh, and blacked-out eyes. The body language is now full on Jason as we now know him as well. Slow, lumbering, and purposeful movements that intimidate like all hell.
Tommy Jarvis comes back to make sure Jason is REALLY dead…after 15 years of absolutely nothing happening…right, and accidently brings him to life with a bolt of lightning.
Ok…so the revival of Jason makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but that’s not the point. The point is that this movie is fantastic. It does everything it needs to, including not take itself seriously. There is humor all over this movie in an amazingly balanced fashion. Not too much that it’s a flat out mockery of itself, but enough to let you know that the filmmakers are aware that how ridiculous this is.
If that’s not enough for you, the soundtrack has oodles of Alice Cooper. And if that doesn’t make you happy in the pantular region…than you my friend, are not human.
However, unlike HALLOWEEN III which I feel got a bad rap, this movie kind of deserves it.
The biggest issue is that HALLOWEEN III wasn’t trying to be a Michael Myers movie, and this movie was trying to be a Jason movie. Well…at least it tried to make you think it was.
That’s not to say this is a bad movie. I, in fact quite enjoy it. It’s got a lot of solid kills, the leather strap against the tree is my favorite.
Sure it’s not really Jason…but I think Roy did a pretty decent job in his place. Think about it, he managed to clean out an entire half-way house in the matter of a hours. That’s pretty impressive for someone who isn’t the super strong, super resilient Jason Voorhees.
This movie also has the same guy with Jerry Curls that was in RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, looking and acting almost exactly like the same character. It’s not really relevant to the movie, but I find it funny.
Ultimately, whether or not you want to watch this movie is all up to you. If you’re a purist and absolutely need your Jasons to be Jason…then you might want to skip this one. However, if you’re looking for an entertaining slasher flick with some cool kills, I recommend it.
10. Unstable OS- Even after I first bought it, the OS was extremely glitchy, even official Research-In-Motion applications and themes had issues running on it and at times, even made my entire phone freeze. Now, that’s sad.
9. “Sleeping In”- Because it’s not a flip phone, there’s a key lock/sleep feature. But god help me if I try to wake it up again. I try the lock button, I try the power button, I try every last button on the damn phone…nothing works. Throwing it against the wall and forcing it to reboot…that seems to do the trick.
8. Phantom Alerts- I get these all the friggin time. I’d get the tone, I’d get the flashing LED, but low and behold, there’s no actual alert message on screen. So, I have no idea what my phone is alerting me of whatsoever…and the LED blinks for eternity.
7. “Unread” Messages- These drive me insane…I get an e-mail, or application message, I read it and then move back to the main screen…only, what’s this? It says I have an unread message…and there’s nothing I can do to make it go away short of rebooting the phone.
6. Missed Messages- Simple as that…someone sends me a text or something and I don’t get it.
5. Banned from the Internet- Let’s put it this way. I count it a lucky day if my phone lets me on the internet anymore. Let alone log in to any website.
4. Shitty Apps- Tumblr hasn’t worked in about a year…I couldn’t post images on Facebook for about 4 months after I bought it…Twitter has always been spotty at best. Again, these are all official Research-In-Motion apps.
3. Shitty Button Placement- I have more accidental pictures of my pants pocket on my phone than anything else.
2. Heart Failure- This is the most infuriating to me…even if I set my phone down as gently as possible, there’s an 85% chance of my phone rebooting. I’ve even had this happen in the middle of a call after switching to bluetooth…and then I have to wait a full 10 minutes before I can use my phone again, because that’s how long it takes to reboot.
…and finally, the number 1 reason why I won’t be getting another Blackberry when my contract is up is…
1. It’s not 2006!!
Seriously, this movie has the most nudity throughout that I’ve seen that wasn’t a porno movie. Nearly every other scene has either boobies, butts, no-no places, or all three combined and it gets old real quick.
It’s one of those things were after a while it becomes uncomfortable because you feel like you’re watching porn flick instead of a horror movie.
Aside from that, this entry in the series has really grown on me after repeated viewings. The kills are great, the teen characters are actually interesting, and better yet, Jason looks far more menacing and badass than in part 3.
I think the make-up really benefited from the lack of neck padding that was in part 3. It just didn’t look right with the mask on him. But now, all that padding is gone, and the mask works perfectly. Also, his movements are more menacing. He doesn’t always run and sometimes even takes his time when persuing someone. You can really see the body language of the character starting to develop.
That being said, the ending sucks ass. He becomes confused when confronted by Tommy Jarvis made-up to look like a young Jason, which gives them time to kill him with the machete. It’s ridiculous and an unfortunate way to send off the character…because, when you really think about it…this particular Jason is dead for good, and we won’t see him again until the reboot.
Let me explain, when I talk about the FRIDAY movies, I usually split them up into two different franchises, with two different Jasons…The first half is FRIDAY 1-4 & the reboot, and the second half is FRIDAY 6 - FVJ. The next movie in my marathon is the black sheep of the franchise that doesn’t fit in either category…Part 5: A New Beginning.
Not only is this the first movie where Jason gets his hockey mask, but it’s in 3D!!
Now, I bought this as a bare bones DVD release back in college…back in the glorious days when Halloween meant giant end caps FILLED with horror movies for $5 - $10 a piece. This is where I got my copy, so sadly, no 3D glasses, not even an option to watch it in 3D on the disk either. Oh well…
This movie is filled with camp, it’s not even funny. Nearly every scene they try to exploit the 3D technology to push things toward the screen, this includes kills. This yielded some of Jason’s greatest hits, I’m of course talking about the eyeball scene…classic.
However, there is one thing that gets me about this movie. It’s a small thing, but it still kind of irks me. In this movie, Jason kills a pregnant woman. Now, granted it’s got to be super early because she’s not showing, but still…to me, that crosses the line of taste.
For me, there are just certain lines you don’t cross…I dunno. Like I said, that’s just one thing out of a whole movie.
This movie also has the worst false ending out of the series. The female lead survives, and follows the ending of the first movie almost word for word, taking a canoe and drifting herself off into the middle of the lake. When she wakes up, we get a number of “jumps” that are just cheesy as hell before she sees Jason starting to run after her on the shore. She panics and starts tries to push her way off some logs and back into the lake only to see that she was hallucinating the whole thing. Relaxing back into the canoe, the music swells, and Pamela rises out of the lake and pulls her in.
Now, it’s later revealed that that also was a hallucination and that the whole even has driven the poor girl insane…but still. That doesn’t stop it from being stupid.
Pamela Voorhees is dead, and Jason is out for revenge for the first time, once again killing a bunch of camp counselors.
This is also where they start a rather annoying tradition that will last for at least two more movies…the recap beginning, and the false ending that mimics the one from the first movie. In this movie, the false ending is rather interesting because you get to see the first encarnation of Jason without his mask…some sort of hairy wildman. This of course was dropped in the next movie, but it’s still interesting.
It’s also interesting because it seems Jason is more of a farmboy in this movie than anything. He’s wearing overalls, flannel, and his primary weapon is a pitchfork.
The kills in this movie are pretty cool, nothing really special, nothing that sticks out in my mind at least. The only thing really memorable is the female lead attacking Jason with a chainsaw, which if funny because Jason actually cowers in the corner out of fear. Not something we’re used to seeing in the character. But then again, this is the first time we see him, and after all, he is still just a man…
…at least until part 6.
FRIDAY THE 13th not only began one of the most iconic horror franchises of all time, but it changed the genre at the same time.
It’s hard to find something that hasn’t already been said about this movie.
It’s campy (no pun intended), gorey, fun from start to finish…and it has a young Kevin Bacon in it, what’s there not to like?
The kills are still impressive to watch, even if the effects are waaaaaaaay out of date. To think, before this, most kills in horror movies were pretty straightforward. Hard to believe that there was a time where planning and creativity went into thinking about how to kill people in a movie…whether that says something about us as a culture or not I really don’t care. It’s a movie.
With nothing left to say about the actual movie I leave you with a little story about my Dad, and just how awesome he really was.
It was my Mom and Dad’s honeymoon. They were in their hotel and my Mom told my Dad to go out and rent a movie. Now, this is probably the most romantic night of their lives…and what movie does my Dad bring back?
FRIDAY THE 13TH…
…my Dad was awesome.
Where to begin? This movie is a masterpiece in any way you look at it. It’s an icon in horror, and a flat-out classic in the film industry.
It also holds the esteemed position as the second goriest film I’ve ever seen…DEAD ALIVE still is number one…
Everything about this movie makes me giddy. The make-up, the body language, the lack of music, and the ever-present eerie drone of the night wind.
It’s one of the few movies that still gives me the heebie geebies at 26 years of age. Why? Well, the make-up for one thing…those eyes are goddamn creepy. Also, the actors do an outstanding job with their movements, quick and jagged like a broken marionette. The way the demon in the basement is always there, just screaming and banging the door against the chains…the way Linda’s demon just sits there…just SITS THERE and laughs in that creepy ass doll make up…it’s the fact that she just sits there that gets me. What is she waiting for? What is she going to do? When is it going to happen???! Even when she’s dragged outside and just writhes in the dirt growling like an animal…I know there’s something coming.
I love this movie…if it were a woman, or even a man…hell, I live in CT it’s legal…I would marry the shit out of this movie.
I guess it’s my intense love for this movie, and it’s profound effect on me that I have a hard time stomaching EVIL DEAD II. ARMY OF DARKNESS is fine because it’s so far from the original I can place it in an entire different franchise in my mind…but EVIL DEAD II, not so much.
Nerd-rage at me all you want…that’s just how it is. You don’t f*ck with my EVIL DEAD…period. And yes, I am aware of the upcoming remake…now please, leave me to my grief.
Type “EVIL” into google search…
…very first guess is “Evil Dead.”
Good google…the nerds have taught you well.
You guys suck…seriously.
That’s not to say the show is unenjoyable, it is, but there’s a difference between an “enjoyable” show, and a “good” show. And this is anything but a good show.
Why, do you ask? Well, where do I begin really?
In the end, you guys just plain suck. I’m kinda pissed at you too, you’re diverting attention away from other shows that have actual storytelling and GOOD WRITING. Instead, everyone is clambering over HOUSE’s balls like it’s the god amoung TV shows…well, maybe not so much anymore since BREAKING BAD came out. Now, THERE is a show you should take notes on. It has character AND good storytelling.
Do us all a favor. Go back to whatever cardboard box you learned to write from and take some more classes.
Eat me,
Dubzor
