Posts tagged cigars

Having a hard time sleeping tonight…for some strange reason it’s lead to tonight that a big decision I’ve been pondering has been made. It’s a decision that I’m sure many will tell me is the right one, and yet I can’t help feeling like a colossal idiot.

I think I’m going to give up Cigars.

It’s the healthy decision I know, blah blah blah…so why do I still feel like an idiot? Well, the whole question as to whether or not I was going to didn’t even come up until a few months ago when I started watching BREAKING BAD. The idea of the big “c” was never really an issue until I started watching Brian Cranston take a downward spiral into it.

This is reason number 1 I feel like an idiot…not because I never considered cancer, because I did…but that I somehow shrugged it off until an actor on a fictional TV show pretended to have it really drove the idea home.

Why this of all things? I really don’t know…and I feel like a complete idiot that this is the trigger that started the whole debate.

Reason number 2 I feel like an idiot? It’s a stupid one…but I can’t help it, part of my social anxiety sadly. I somehow feel like I’ve wasted everyone elses time and money. I only started a little over a year ago, telling people how much I loved a good cigar…(I still do, that much hasn’t changed)…to the point where I’m now getting cigar related gifts like leather cases and books and Christmas orniments.

Somehow a part of me also feels like people are secretly judging me, saying to themselves “oh, typical Brando. Obsesses about something for a week before moving on to something else. What a waste of time.” Although, I’m sure that’s what the shrinks would call a “projection of my own self analysis.”

Even though I know that the people who bought me these gifts…mainly my family…aren’t going to begrudge me for making a decision based on improving my overall quality of life I still can’t help but feel guilty.

Finally, reason number 3 I feel like an idiot…that making a decision based on improving my overall quality of life can make me question myself and weigh on my mind so much that I lose sleep over it.

It’s not like I’m quitting over some stupid reason or because I got bored with it…it’s because I realize I’ve still got a lot I want to do and would rather not risk my own future.

I’m being an adult by giving up something that I love, because it’s better in the long run that I let it go…

So why do I feel like an idiot still? And why can’t I sleep? Am I still the same insecure, whiny, tool I was 4 years ago with a thin layer of polish? I would like to hope not, I’ve worked hard NOT to be that guy. I hate that guy.

I don’t know…

Either way, I hope this isn’t too much bitch-assness for you guys. Lord knows I try to keep it at a minimum.

At any rate, I guess I have some Cigar stuff going up for sale soon…we had a hell of a run.

My new cigar torch came in the mail…

I’m not even up an hour and I’ve already bought the following…

• Bundle of 20—Rothschilde (5’x50)—Pirate’s Gold Maduro
• Graycliff 12-Cigar Madness Flight Sampler
• Godzilla Legacy Collection
• Rodan/War of the Gargantuas Double Feature DVD

Not to mention $80 saved up for my trip to Maine this September (to pay for gas, tolls, food for the house sitters, and a wee little trip to the NH State Packy).

I’m also seriously considering buying a CD, I usually try to get a new one each paycheck and the one I have my eye on is only $8 or so.

God I love payday…

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The cigars are bouncing back! I check both humis yesterday and both sets of cigars are have improved significantly. They still have a little ways to go, but I can wait another week if it means that I don’t have to replace an entire humidor’s worth of Cigars! Especially my Gurkas…that would have sucked big time.

The humidors themselves seem to be hold onto the humidity pretty well to, much better than they have been. Must be a sign that the worst of the weather is behind us as that was the problem to begin with.

I think I can safely end these reports here and close it all up with a posted image of myself smoking one of the survivors sometime this weekend. I’m thinking there’s no better way to celebrate a revived set of cigars than with my Gurka Heritage. I’ve earned it at this point…

Cigars backs in the humis…the one with the external hygrometer reads a steady 70%. I’ll check the floral foam humidifiers tomorrow for additional charging.

Optimism rising to 50%

So finally, after a small floral foam puck, a large jar of PG Gel, and a small dish of distilled water, my large humidor is FINALLY at 70%. Apparently the weather is to blame, according to the lady at the cigar shop…

I didn’t NEED another reason to be hate this winter…but it seems I got one.

As for the smaller humi, I’m not sure…I can only assume it’s somewhere in the same place. I got a PG Gel jar for it as well, albiet a smaller one. I’m wondering if moving my humis to the basement will provide better results? Who knows…

Finally, the survivors of this tragedy are still in Critical Condition in the ICU…aka my basement on a paper towel outside their cellophane. While it’s hard to tell, I think they just might be improving some. Only time will tell however.

Oh…and just a short list of the victims of this terrible event.

- 5 Rocky Patel Indian Tabacs
- 4 Gurka Triple Ligres
- 1 Gurka 1887
- 1 Gurka Heratige
- 2 Romeo Y Juliettas (I can make peace if these do not survive, not much of a fan to begin with.
- 1 Uknown (gift from future step-dad without a wrapper)

Last night was like a Bachelor party…only no one’s getting married. It was so nice out my friends and I all piled out on the deck and played some poker, all while drinking beer and smoking fine cigars. When I die…that’s my heaven…with a massive unending shelf of TRANSFORMERS behind us of course…and it rains Slurpies…mmmmm Slurpies!

I rocked the first game hardcore…I didn’t win, but still, I had at least three flushes throughout the game! Insanity!!! …and then I lost out pretty quickly in the second game…still.

Tonight I’m going back over for some FALLOUT D&D gaming action! Awww YEAH! My character is such a dick in this game, and due to my awful rolling he can’t shoot for sh*t, but still, I enjoy him. I’m hoping this game he’ll be able to somewhat redeem himself enough to gain the trust back of his party…if only to get them off his back so he can get away with more mischief later on.

After a night of two cigars I wake up this morning to my mouth feeling pretty groady. Cotton mouth from the beer didn’t help much either. While I was at WALMART this morning I picked up some of that “Cherry Passion” tic-tacs to help me out. So far it’s like putting a band-aid on a bullet wound…but it’s helping at the very least.

I also picked up a 10 lbs dumbell. Such an obscure thing I know but I’ve been thinking about it for a while. Between my friends all working out and the fact that I’ve lost all this weight and see myself platauing off, it seems like a perfect time as any to tone up a bit…if only for the fact that my arms will no longer look like a Salvador Dahli painting…you know, the one with the watches hanging on the trees and stuff? Disgusting right? Yeah…so far I’ve avoided that but I’m still taking the preemptive strike.

I’m hungry…muffins maybe before lunch? mmmmmm Muffins…